Breast Cancer DIY

...created by women with breast cancer, for women and men with breast cancer!

A Wait  - Caroline Webb-Wiltshire, UK

1-15-2016  Caroline emailed this poem to us -- thank you Caroline

A Wait 

Goodbye little breast.
Tomorrow I shall be without you
for the first time.
I shall miss you like a much loved tree
that leaves too much space in the familiar sky.
I learned late how pretty you were,
how you filled a man's hand quite perfectly,
not pendulous, but round
with nipples like cornelians
the colour of sedum flowers,
so I was told. I loved
the fierce pull of my babies' suck,
my lover's tender kiss,
and my first new pale blue bra.
Goodbye little breast,
how sad I shall feel
when tomorrow I wake and find
just a hard red flat
mastectomy scar.

                      ...Poetry

 

If you write poetry and would like to submit your poems for us to include in this section, please e-mail them to breastcancerdiy@earthlink.net  with a note saying you give us permission to publish them on our website your name and location.   As you can see, we have a few poets among us!   


 

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9-28-2015 by Reima Shetler - Rosiclare,IL

The Wearing of the Word

The initial bearer of The Word, spews a volcano of meaningless lava.
Too many words.
Life-altering words.
The Word burns and transforms  everything It  touches.
What is it that you hold as Holy?
Where am I in the societal role of gender?
Long, luscious locks of perfectly coiffed hair.
The much anticipated blossoming experienced in the youth
Taken back in the prime.
Soft, expressive, soulful, decorated eyes
Ravaged by the inevitable healing cocktails.
With The Word comes the morbid interest of strangers.
Like carrying the foreign body of pregnancy,
The Word begs unwanted advice.
Stay down.
Rise above It.
Concentrate on work.
Take time for yourself.
Let the tears flow.
Put on a brave face.
A life once lived happily in the shadow
Now a communal oddity.
Side long glances to see how you wear The Word.
Pressure, self-imposed, to wear It well.
You look lovely today.
You are such an inspiration.
Outwardly, an involuntary smile.
Inwardly, screaming, “Rubbish!”
I do not wear The Word well as a beacon of hope for the murmuring masses.
I wear It well because It was given to me.
I wear It well as a sentient being reduced to its primal need to survive.
I wear It well for ME.

My Gift from God by Marion - founder of this website

People think I'm crazy.....
To thank God for this gift....
They say I must be "brain dead"..
To even consider this...
But it has made me understand ......
Life ups, and yes it's downs.....
It has given me the ability...
To laugh through all the frowns....
My gift from God's a treasure...
I celebrate each day....
And live my life as best I can...
And help others, on my way.....

When God gives gifts, we do not want....
It is our challenge to..
Accept them in what form they take....
And live our lives anew...
For the time may come when I am gone...
But my friends won't need an answer....
To everyone who knew me well.....

I didn't die... but truly learned to LIVE with Cancer.
©  All Rights Reserved 2008

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6-21-2015 Tonya Kooiman Sheldon Iowa

BRING IT ON
 
I live my life, never knowing you're there
Then suddenly, one day, I'm caught in your snare
The first time I was left with my breasts and my pride
The second time you took the breast on my right side
What I want you to know in the middle of this fight
No matter what you take, you can't put out this light
You see, I have a husband a daughter and a son
They'll stand by my side until all is said and done
So bring it on and know we'll never quit
Third, fourth or fifth, we'll never submit.

6-22-2015 Christine Stoddard-Arlington VA

The Nakedness

My hair made me a diligent farmer proud of generations’ worth of tilling
I conditioned and combed with a stewardship reserved for the sacred
I could not eat my hair but it nourished me in a different way:
with compliments, flirting, dates — attention

Then the cancer came
and a different attention arrived
People always asked questions that really meant,
“When are you going to die?”

But I keep my doctor’s prognosis close
to the breast I no longer have.

5-23-2015 Recent Poems we received.

Donna C. Slone-Crumbie from Lexington, Kentucky sent these to us today - thank you so much, very insightful!

“Cancer’s Impact”
C hanged me
A djusted my attitude
N umbered my days
C reated a purpose driven life
E rased memories
R enewed my focus.


    “The Fear”
I went to Hawaii
     to get away
I didn’t think of you
     not one day!
But when I got back
    there you were
    reminding me
    that one day you
    may come again,
    to stay.


“No Respecter of Persons”
We speak a different language
We serve a different God
I wear a wig, you have a hijab.
Our eyes share a secret, yet
I don’t even know your name,
But as chemo flows through
Our veins, we are the same.

 

4-9-2015  Omarr sent this to me today

Never Give Up

Poem By: Omarr RaSharjd Lee  From Washington D.C.

In your battle with cancer,
Believe you have what it takes,
Believe you have a heart that never breaks, therefore
You must never lose hope, and You must never show fear,
As the path to complete remission can be seen so clear, therefore
The phrase: Making the impossible come to life,
Must be your motivation,
Having faith, and trust in the Lord,
Will make you feel elation,
As your heart, and soul is steadily racing,
To the finish line.

2-13-2015 From:  Elayne Lansing

I received an e-mail from Elayne Lansing who was a radiation therapist for 32 years.  She wrote this poem to honor all her patients and friends who have taken the breast cancer journey.  Enjoy.

 I Fought Like a Girl
By Elayne Lansing

Based on the cancer journeys of my friends & my patients
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A battle was about to begin
When I found I had cancer cells within
They are cells that refuse to die
Not surprising, because so do I.

My plan was to stare it in the face
Find the doctor who would be best for my case
Fight it with prayer, courage, and grace.
But it had an agenda all its own
Insidious, and to me, still unknown.

Round One:  It was Cancer’s
I came out slow as I searched for answers.
My world went from structured and sane
To one of chaos, as I felt my strength drain
(My friends and family helped me sustain).

Round Two:  I came out stronger…
It wasn’t going to dominate any longer
I wanted to go the distance
I had it on the ropes
And I started to see there was reason to hope.
Chemo really packed a punch
Yet I had to wonder….
Are the cells still dividing
Or are they down for the count and dying?
I heard the crowd cheer, “Hang On - Stay Strong!”

Round three:  The money was on me….
My radiation was doing a cancer annihilation.
I felt I had changed in a way hard to explain
I had learned how to cope
And saw my life in a broader scope
Optimism took the place of fear
Smiles took the place of tears.
Life didn’t stop as the battle went on
Some relationships strengthened, others waned
I wasn’t immune to life’s other pains.

KNOCKOUT:  The battle is now over…
In some ways life’s better
I’m more prepared to face whatever
Nothing’s taken for granted
But a high price to pay to get to this day.

 

2-7-2015 website of poetry

Today I received an e-mail from Roger Lovegrove - he started a website to honor his wife, she wrote many poems during her battle with breast cancer, and wanted you all to read them. Check out his memorial website and his wife's poems - they are extraordinary.

www.sandralovegrove.org

 

Poems from people all over the world!

10-15-2014  We are blessed to have a 2nd poem from Blackmatta from Palestine.  

 
 "The Same Boat"

When she asked me… "How are you?"
I pretended, I didn't hear
Then I asked… "What's new?"
She looked at me
And with a smile, she replied…
"I have no clue!"

I talked to myself…
Should I be honest and tell her?
Could I say what I feel?
Would she listen?
Would this heal?

I couldn't describe how tough my soreness was
I couldn't describe how painful my Radiotherapy was
I couldn't count how many shots I have per day
I couldn't name the pills I took that day
One, two, three, hmm
I couldn't remember most of them

But I could spell!
T R A M A D O L
M O R P H I N E
A D R I A M Y C I N
And other types; cure and kill!

I lost my hair
My skin is fair
My smiles are rare
Still, I'm strong since she is here!

Oh, please!
Don't ask… No!
I won't say that I'm weak
I won't say my mood is bleak
But, I will let my eyes speak

Once again, She looked at me
"How are you?""!!!????!!!!"
I replied…  "Just fine, like you"

She laughed, I wondered!
Then she said… "We'll be late,
Let's have our Chemotherapy"

I was puzzled, I was shocked!
CANCER?  "Yes"; was her answer

 We were two!
Two perfect actresses in the same boat  !

9-11-2014  A poem by  Elana Carr

If Only You Could Know
by Elana Carr

If only you could know how it feels . . .
To be told you have Breast Cancer,
To know you have to endure the uncertainty of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation.

If only you could know how it feels . . .
As the drugs of chemotherapy enter your body and make  you feel sick and weak,
As you just begin to feel better and the chemotherapy starts again only to make you feel sick and weak once more,
As you watch in the mirror while your head is shaved so you won’t have to see your hair fall out,
As you fool the world and wear a wig so no one knows anything is wrong with you,
As you have to rely on others to help you with things that were once so easy and routine.

If only you could know how it feels . . .
To have your body disfigured,
To go alone everyday for radiation treatments and come home and go to sleep,
To suffer  the burns and fatigue of radiation.



If only you could know how it feels . . .
To try and keep a positive attitude,
To worry about caring for an aging parent and pet,
To worry about losing your job and paying the bills,
To worry about getting better and to wonder if you will stay Cancer free...

If only you could know how it feels . . .
To have your body  finally begin to feel normal again,
To watch as your precious hair slowly begins to grow back,
To look in the mirror and see a strong, beautiful person who can proudly say “I am a survivor”.

Oh, if only you could know how it feels... then you would know me.Click to add text, images, and other content

5-18-2014 a poem from Blackmatta, Palestine

We are so happy to have gals from all over the world using our website, and submitting their poetry to us for you to enjoy.  Thank you!

Impersonation

Daggers
Pains
Screams

My body is shrinking
My hair is shedding
My spirit is dying

Pats
Hugs
Prayers

Look, it is killing me
No, I'm killing it
Oh, we are killing myself

Long path
Deep breath
Strong faith

Their pitiful eyes
Their silent cries
Their hidden fears

Tranquilizers
Pain killers
Medications

Chemotherapy was used
Parts of my body were removed
They preceded me to heaven

Strongly, I will say
Cancer..
I hope to be your last prey

title 10-24-2013 Poem by: Omarr Lee  Washington DC

Omar Lee wrote this poem after losing relatives to cancer - an aunt to breast cancer.Thank you Omar for sharing your beautiful poem!

Defining Hope
By: Omarr RaSharjd Lee
 
Being the one to be strong,
Even through dark to light,
Being the one to have courage,
Even through gloomy night,
Being the one to have faith, and
Knowing that a better day is on the way,
Being the one to always call upon Jesus,
What else is there to say?
 

 

10-10-2013  Poem by : Linky Mayfield - New Mexico

Linky's Mom, Katja,  sent this poem to us - her daughter wrote it 2 years ago when she was 14, when her Mom was undergoing treatment - I think she is a pretty special little girl -- I know you all will agree!

 THE MONSTER

 

That sadness in my heart tears it in two,

As the doctors sit and tell her the news,

That what she has is not the common flu,

And it is her very life she may lose

Its breast cancer that’s killing my mother,

An unstoppable monster that destroys,

It’s a killer unlike any other

Tearing her apart without any noise

“but thank the good Lord’ the Doctors exclaim,

Even though this sickness can make one scared,

This cancer is a kind that we can tame,

The road to recovery is tough so be prepared,

You must stand up and will yourself to life

For you are an awesome mother and wife.

 

 by Linky Mayfield (14)
Las Cruces New Mexico

Think Positive...

This is about living with metastatic breast cancer.

Think Positive


by Shari Larsen - Michigan

We are thrilled to tell you that this poem was used by a group of Contemporary dancers called the "Independent Artists Collective in Chicago, Illinois in a competition, headed by Rebecca Crystal,
BFA in Dance, University of Illinois

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neRjLJdic1Q&list=PLE9XWdl-8YPp8NBMD80Cy0BTOAdyWSVff&index=1

 



"Think Positive";
Easy for them to say,
they do not have to live
with this every day.

This beast inside me
can be kept at bay,
but will not entirely go away.

Another scan, another test;
possibilities of progression
turn my thoughts into a worry-fest.

At last, the results are in,
I breathe a sigh of relief;
and I begin my life again,
saying a prayer of thanks.
For a little while
I can forget my angst.

For now, maybe,
I can be so bold
as to entertain thoughts
of growing old.

I still have thoughts
on certain deep, dark nights,
that this beast will one day
will take my life,
but I will not go out
without a fight!

I have this thing
that helps me cope.
It's deep in my soul
and I call it Hope.
It is my lifeline,
it is my rope;
the thing that keeps
my heart afloat.

Life goes on,
and so do I.
I don't have time
to sit and cry.

I treasure the moments
when I can forget
that I have to live with "it".
For me, having an ordinary day
is a blessing to me,
I know then that I will be okay.

 

©  All Rights Reserved 2008

 

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4-19-13 -- My Breast Cancer Journey                      By Susan Krebs  Deerfield, Wisconsin

My Breast Cancer Journey

Feel a lump and fear the worst.
See the doctor and hear you’re cursed.
Tell the family your bad news.
You know you’ve got so much to lose.

More doctors, biopsies and tests,
You’re told you’re going to lose your breast.
The next step is surgery.
Just a few weeks of misery.

And when you think it can’t get worse.
You learn the name of every chemo nurse.
Weeks and weeks of feeling sick.
Chemicals inserted into veins made thick.

Once you’ve been put to the test,
Then they give you a little rest.
In the hopes of making your body strong,
Before your next surgery comes along.

Finally working towards something good.
More pain to come is understood.
Surgeries to replace what you have lost.
But being whole is worth any cost.

 Always fearing every day,
And praying your cancer will stay away.
Remaining upbeat and full of hope.
Even though you’re on a slippery slope.

You’ve fought hard to reach remission,
You’ve beaten your cancer into submission.
You pray to God to keep you well and
deliver you from this horrible hell.


4-4-13  A Poem by Kerry Peterson, Kingsburg, CA A tribute to her Mom

Shades of Pink

Shades of pink
Honor the suffering,
Solicit and celebrate healing.

Fuchsia, rose, crimson, salmon, baby-blush, coral,
One of those is my mum.
Another, your sister, his wife, a friend.

They didn’t go looking for the fight of their life,
But the storm came:
An urgent call,
Surgeons, stitches, ports, mistakes, fatigue, and pain,
Long days, therapies, sympathies,
The waiting and the wondering,
So many plans on hold.

It is an outright ordeal,
Though we color it with soft shades of pink.
Perhaps we know that
Pink wails AND whispers
In its radiant grace.

May it be a healing color-
Beauty that renews and rejuvenates,
Bringing strength and a smile
To the women of this world
Who must sail through the storm of cancer.

title Sent to us by:Mrs.Praveen Gola from India

We received this poem from one of our people in India, she wrote it in Hindi, and translated it into English but it lost some of the impact that the original poem conveys,  so we are putting each one of them on our site so those in India can read it in their native language.  Thank you so much  for your poem - we need to understand that this is a global problem. . 

 The English translated version:  February 20, 2013

Save Womanliness

 Yesterday was "her" the pride ..... like every woman,

Curvy Blog Busts whenever any of your ...... "She" shows.

That is the beauty of a woman ..... ...... the perfect definition,
When the nose - maps and color - as well as the location ..... the second busts get.

But after a while ...... ....... a lump in his breast seemed to be,
She ignored it ........ ..... In Her free moments inside was dying.

There is such a shame ..... what for in a woman?
Saying he could not understand ...... my mind ....... suppressed agony of her humiliation.

Standing in front of the mirror for hours ........ She Judged Her breasts;
But then falls into thinking that what I say ........ ......popularize this story?

Husband "God" occurs ........ her feel Her pain - pain in saying,
Do not leave it sitting somewhere ....... Her husband caught in the vortex of the waves.

Then suddenly one day ..... "as" Her "mother-in-law" went to the hospital,
There Her "Mother-in-law" told the story........to the "Doctor of Her agony.

Listening to "doctor" was shocked ........ checked immediately for "her" call
But until it was too late by then ...... ....... lump became a "cancer" of the shadow.

"Breast cancer" is very toxic ........ which takes away the beauty of woman,
Could not overcome Her...... no ...... who was battered to death in this disease.

She suffered a lot of pain when parted her ...... "breast" had to do,
The beauty was awakened ......... convincing ever had to go through this with her own ugliness.

But ........ the courage and sacrifice of female identity,
She lived to be still alive ...... that her "femininity" is the elegance.

"Blouse" by the "cloth" ....... as in the society, "femininity", hide,
But to say so would even say it ........ "given bin wick".

A few years later, her condition began to deteriorate again .......;
After a second "breast" ....... age look to wane.

"Cancer" deepened the roots ........ now gradually began to clamp down,
Yeah, have to go through the same ordeal again ....... even begun thinking of his age.

There is no other option left other now ....... "breast" to get rid of,
"She" kept coming back to the hospital again ......... For Surgical Treatment of Her Body.

Her second bust also removed ......from her beautiful chest,
"Woman" became the "it" .... "man" now ..... not save the few remaining living.

When at parties....... still need to go to "her" ..... somewhere "out";
Then miss "Her" ........ moment when she the whole world was sunk in Her Breasts too.

But today, "She" instead of those Busts....... She hides Her gloomy desires,
Ensemble "woman" is the blouse ...... but the "clothing" is applied to the chest.

So poignant occasion arise ......... any "feminine", the
Be alert ....... therefore already gives the message "that" everyone together.

That whenever your "breasts" ....... In a strange feeling,
So do not forget to immediately Go for Medical check up .........before gets too late.

Respecting woman ......... its great form and color,
So your "femininity" Save ....... When feels Your life in danger .
 
Her Original poem in Hindi: 
sad-one-eye-woman

कल तक था “उसे” भी गुमान …..हर स्त्री की भाँति ,
अपने सुडौल वक्षों को ……जब भी किसी महफ़िल में “वो” दिखाती ।

नारी की सुन्दरता का …..एक यही तो होता है ……सबसे उतम बखान ,
जब नाक-नक्शे और रंग-रूप के बाद …..वक्षों को मिलता दूजा स्थान ।

मगर कुछ समय बाद ही ……उसके वक्ष में …….एक गाँठ बनने लगी ,
वो उसे नज़रअंदाज़ कर ……..अपने भीतर पल रहे संकोच …..में ही मरने लगी ।

इतनी लज्जा भी स्त्री में …..होती है किस काम की ?
जब वो कह भी न सके ……अपने मन में दबी हुई व्यथा …….समझ उसे अपमान की ।

घंटों शीशे के आगे खड़े ……..”वो” रोज़ अपने वक्ष को निहारकर ,
फिर सोच में पड़ जाती यूँही ……..कि किससे कहूँ ……ये किस्सा उघाड़कर ?

पति “परमेश्वर” से होता उसे संकोच ……..अपना दुःख-दर्द कहने में ,
कि कहीं छोड़ न बैठे पति उसका …….भंवर में फँसी उन लहरों में ।

फिर एक दिन अचानक …..”वो” अपनी “सास” के साथ अस्पताल गई ,
वहाँ “डाक्टरनी” को उसकी “सास” ने …….”उसकी” व्यथा की कथा कही ।

सुनकर “डॉक्टर” हैरान हो गई ……..तुरंत जाँच के लिए “उसे” बुलाया ,
परन्तु जब तक देर हो चुकी थी …….गाँठ बन गई थी तब तक ……”कैंसर” की छाया ।

“स्तन” कैंसर है बहुत विषैला ……..जो हर लेता सुन्दरता नारी की ,
उससे उबर न सका है कोई ……जिसे झेलनी पड़ी है मार ……इस बीमारी की ।

बहुत दर्द उसने भी सहा ……जब जुदा उसके “स्तन” को करना पड़ा ,
जिस सुन्दरता का कायल कभी जग था ………आज उसकी ही बदसूरती से गुजरना पडा ।

मगर साहस और त्याग से ही ……..नारी की पहचान है ,
वो फिर भी जिंदा रह कर जी ली ……यही उसके “स्त्रीत्व” की शान है ।

“ब्लाउज” में लगाकर “कपड़ा”…….वो समाज में अपना “स्त्रीत्व” छिपाती ,
मगर कहने वाले तो तब भी उसको ……..कह जाते “दिया बिन बाती” ।

कुछ सालों के बाद फिर से …….उसकी हालत और बिगड़ने लगी ,
एक के बाद अब दूसरे ”स्तन” की …….उम्र भी देखो घटने लगी ।

“कैंसर” की फैलीं जड़ें अब ……..धीरे-धीरे से शिकंजा कसने लगीं ,
हाँ ,फिर से गुज़रना पड़ेगा उसी दौर से …….ये सोच उसकी उम्र भी घटने लगी ।

कोई और चारा बाकी न रहा अब …….दूसरे ”स्तन” से भी निजात पाने को ,
“वो” फिर आ बैठी उस अस्पताल में दुबारा ………अपना “तन” चिरवाने को ।

हटा दिया दूजा “वक्ष” भी उसका ……उसके सुन्दर सीने से ,
“नारी” से बन गयी “वो’ ….”मर्द” अब …..बचा न शेष कुछ जीने में ।

आज भी महफिलों में जाना पड़ता है …….जब भी “उसे” …..कहीं “बाहर” ,
तब याद आते हैं “उसे” भी वो पल ……..जब वक्षों में डूबा करता था “उसके” भी ……यूँही सारा संसार ।

मगर आज “वो” उन वक्षों के बदले …….अपने बुझे हुए अरमान छिपाती है ,
पहनावा “स्त्री” का होता है ……मगर ब्लाउज में “कपडों” के वक्ष लगाती है ।

इतनी हृदय विदारक घटना ………न घटे किसी भी “स्त्री” के साथ ,
इसलिए पहले से ही सचेत रहो …….ये सन्देश देती है “वो” सबको एक साथ ।

कि जब भी कभी अपने “स्तनों” में …….कुछ अजीब सा महसूस करो ,
तो तुरंत डॉक्टरी जाँच करायो ………देर करने की मत भूल करो ।

नारी का सम्मान है उसके ………रूप और रंग से महान ,
इसलिए अपना “स्त्रीत्व” बचाओ …….जब भी खतरे में लगे अपने प्राण ।।
A Message To All Women-
Self Examination is the only way to get rid of this Disease ,
And If Symptoms Persists…..Then Go For “Mammogram” at least.
 

Sent to us by: Cronin Detzz - Las Vegas Nevada 10-27-2012

 This is dedicated to my aunt Nor, who made it through breast cancer, and to my cousin Angelica who went for a mammogram then two days later had a double-mastectomy.

AMAZON
Amazon: literally, without breast
Warrior heart beating in her ferocious chest
Ancient enemies deftly laid to rest
No regrets, no sins confessed

Her breasts sculpt and outline her
But breasts alone do not define her

Brazenly brave in her soul’s darkest night
Sharp of hearing and keen of sight
Viscerally knowing
As in pregnancy, glowing
A fighter, a survivor
A sisterhood to revive her

She crept into the shadowy dream
Felt her heart burst, heard her soul scream
Do her parents wait at The Other Gate?
Would she finally see the scales of her life
balanced between choice and fate?

Damn you, Illusion of Time!
The Angel of Death cannot be met
Children she cannot say farewell to yet
The life she could have driven
The people she could have forgiven

And when she finally entered the silence
accepting His will like glittering diamonds
Allowing medicine to heal the physical
And loved ones to heal the metaphysical

She finally let go of fear
and doubled her strength

Even if her body gives up
Her spirit will never give in
As an example of her family’s love
Shining and expanding deep within
Cancer cannot defeat her
Cancer can never truly win

Written by Cronin Detzz
For Angelica, Nor, Marci, and….every cancer warrior-esse

My Mother - sent to us on 9/26/12 by Penny Baby

Don't know where Penny Baby lives - but this is truly a writing from a very loving daughter thankful to have a survivor for a mom.  Bless you for sharing this with all of us. 

 
My mother
I know you can't look at yourself in the mirror and smile.
I understand that every time you need to cry because you no longer see what you did several months behind.
Every morning you look at your pillow more and more each day your hair slowly goes away
I thank God each morning and night to see your face before and after I leave and go to sleep.
I'm sorry that I don't know your pain but I know you're strong.
It doesn't matter how your body looks now. You will always be my beautiful mother that is alive and lived through cancer.

 

May 1, 2012 - from Laura Barnes - Arizona

aura sent this to us today - and it is so good we wanted to share it with you all  - Her life has been remarkable - I hope to meet her one of these days.  She is a world traveler, she says her triumphs are: enduring optimism, believing in oneself, believing in others.  She is originally from England, but now lives in Gilbert Arizona.  She is an online instructor at the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in Tempe, Arizona. She was born with a congenital heart defect (a hole in her heart) and has spent her life actively healing hearts in one form or another.  She is currently in training for her June 2012 climb of Mount Kilimanjare for charity. Laura would love to hear about your life journey - www.about.me/LauraBarnes

  This young woman is amazing - and so is her poem - see what you think of her never ending optimism!  I love it!

 

I AM NOT A VICTIM OF BREAST CANCER 
I am not a victim of breast cancer - I am experiencing breast cancer
I am not dying .  I am living.
I am not curing.  I am healing and restoring.
I am not fearing.  I am loving and trusting 
I am not fighting.  I am ceasing all hostility and conflict.
I am not weak or diminished.  I am strong and whole and complete.
I am not crying.  I am laughing until the tears run down my leg.
My body is not my enemy.  My body is my loving friend and gentle guide.
My life story is not history.  My life story is legendary.
Am not powerless.  I am powerful beyond measure.
I am not a drop in the ocean.  I am the ocean in a drop.
I am not scattered.  I am aligned.
I am not being destroyed.  I am building my sacred stature.
I am not trapped or caged.  I am as free as a feathery fledgling.
My body is not a muddy puddle of despair. My body is a hallowed temple of spirit.
I am not filled with shadows. I am filled with illuminating light.
I am not a passive puppet.  I am an active advocate and enthusiastic participant.
I am not tired and bested.  I am tied and invested.
I am not without a voice or meaning or purpose.  I am an angelic messenger.
I am not discarded. I am needed.
I am not descending, dragging or faltering.  I am consistently inspiring and uplifting.
I am not dwelling in the reflections of the past or the projections of the future.
I am joyfully dancing naked in the unfolding mystery of the present moment.
I am not alone or abandoned.  I am infinitely connected by the soft, silky vibrational threads of love.
I will not forget.  I will remember
I will not burn out.  I will sparkle forever.

 

 

A Poets Look at Cancer

Just received an e-mail from Marilyn Stacy who has sent us the following 2 poems - She wrote:
"Here are a couple of poems from my book about breast cancer, Sometimes You Have to Laugh...a Poet's Look at Cancer.
You have my permission to print them on your website. I hope they give someone a smile."
Her website is wonderful -- check out the section "A Poets Look at Cancer"  http://marilynstacy.com

Losses
 
Troubles lurk in hidden places.
Everybody knows it
but nobody expects it to find them.
 
Conversations dwindle to nothing
when you tell friends
you have breast cancer.
 
Modesty disappears
somewhere in the MRI machine
or under the bone scanner.
 
And at an age when you're finally
at peace with your hair, it deserts you--
a chemotherapy dropout.
 
 
Fuzz
 
Soft white fuzz
is growing on my head.
I cheer it on,
massage my scalp
and wonder when the fuzz
will be long enough
to insulate and protect
my bare head,
when I'll look like a woman again,
not a futuristic extra-terrestrial.
 
Next month I can finally fly
to visit my new great-granddaughter
for the first time.
I'm told the fuzz
on her head is light brown.
A snapshot shows her
wearing the same kind of soft,
pink knit cap I wear to bed.
I know we'll bond.


More Poetry from our Members

These poems were written by : Di Ballard  who sent them to me today .. she wrote: "I have written a couple of poems whilst being treated for breast cancer and would love you to use them on your site."

I Will Survive
It was dark and dismal as I lay in my bed,
It was also so dark, inside my head,
Thoughts going round inside my brain,
Spinning faster and wilder like a hurricane.
I`m scared of the cancer, would it come back?
I`m trying to smile,but I`m beginning to crack,
My mum and my aunt, now my dad have all gone,
Taken by cancer,now can I live on? 

I`m strong for my family,I smile for my friends,
Inside I`m unraveling, my sanity depends,
Upon beating this curse that has taken my kin,
I must get my head straight ,I will not give in.

I've  had many ops ,and all treatments are done,
I know that I now have the strength to go on,
So cancer, jog on ,you`re not taking me,
I`m staying right here with my family.

 



THE FREAK
I don't  look in the mirror anymore,
  because I don't like what I see,
its a stranger that's standing behind the glass ,
  looking back at me.

the face is the same,the eyes and the nose,
     and I've still got the wobbly bum,
the shoulder length hair ,so lustrous and dark
      has now all sadly gone.

clumps of hair on my pillow each morning,
    strands of hair where my head lay
the chemo was cruel,the sickness intense,
there were more bald patches each day,
would  I have got through this hell each day
without all my family's love ,probably not ,
I think that without them I would surely have given up

When the doctors removed both of my breasts,
my life was changed forever,
would I ever feel like a woman again,
for a long time the answer was never.
I've now gone full circle,
Can look at my self and now I thankfully see.
when I look in the mirror,
tho a little bit changed,
the person in there is me. 

My body has changed but I'm now so alive
my future no longer looks bleak,
I see myself now as the woman I am,
I'm no longer, in my mind, "the freak"
Without my family I'd never had made it,
I'd never have got through each day,
I know now my husband of 32 years,
will love me whatever, come what may.






Trace of Light

Written by  Ellen McGaughey (One of our members) from Wisconsin - submitted September 2011
Ellen is a painter by avocation but she hasn't painted since the start of her chemo. She writes that "suddenly these little poems started spitting out (about 20 of them so far) and I suspect it is just my way of dealing creatively with all these feelings I am having".   We love this type of sharing - it comes from the soul, and helps everyone that reads it.

TRACE OF LIGHT
Deep beneath
The weight of knowing
Cancer's grip
On Weeks, months,
Years.

A trace of light
Breaks through.
Shrouded still,
Stained
With fear.

The prescription simple:
Live while you are here,
What grows inside
Provides only
A suggested passage.

Shelter
Beckons.
Light is there.
Travelers
Arriving Daily.


Submitted October 2011 
This experience happened during a recent trip sheI made with her husband. " Adjusting to being hairless (and the accompanying responses) has been a large part of my journey. Every once in awhile there is a delightful surprise because of this badge we wear! "

Out For Breakfast
This sturdy waitress,
Older than should be wearing that job,
Controls the diner,
Misses not a cue.

Scans me over
And knows.
Scarf a dead giveaway
I guess.

(Or maybe
Something in my eyes.
Does the tired
In my bones show through? )

"Is it chemotherapy, honey
I'm sorry to ask?
Got a box filled with scarves
That I'd just love to pass

To someone like you,
In need of a few.
I got through my bout
Spent a year in that stew

And look at me now
Strong, with lots of new hair.
Just hang in their honey
Is my message to share".

Eggs, toast and hope
Served up with a smile
From a sister of mine
Without any guile.

Submitted November 2011
Ellen wrote this poem for her doctor who had prescribed the normal "hot flash" meds: she says "
He read it out loud but now sure he really got it!! "

Side Effects/Internet Search

Truly a web
Sticky and seductive
Page after page
Endless bites
Of damage
And pain.

My finger a magnet
Scrolling again and again
Caught in the mystery.
I'm looking for answers,
Filling in spaces,
Just one more link.

Can I survive it,
This tortuous cure?
When I see what is written
I'm drawn to see more.
My heart is now racing
I'm slumping and down.

Please Doctor prescribe me
The pill that I need
To let go of tomorrow
And my need to read,
Turn off the computer
And be present here now.
 
Submitted 11/22/11 - Her thoughts on the holidays
Holiday Wish

Holidays call.
Obligations start
To fill the spaces
Of my reluctant heart.

Why withdraw?
Why the urge to close my eyes
And have my way:
No holiday spirit in disguise.

Children, mother, friends:
Supportive all.
Still past traditions
May have to fall.

Cancer sharpens
My senses clean,
Holiday habits
Need to be gleaned.

Trees and turkeys
Out the door,
Mistletoe and malls,
Don't want more.

Broken body requires some rest.
Spirit, strong, requires more:
Suspend this world, see my best:
Love is at our core.

Time standing still,
Past and future out of place,
Only you and me
In a blessed space.
 
Holiday's mission
Accomplished then.
Peace shared,
Good will to men!

Touching & Light Against Dark

TOUCHING  - By Sue Prins  - one of our members.

I am touched by Cancer
A glancing blow, I pray
But still I bleed, and bruise,
and hold my breath in anticipation
Of the next indignity.

I am touched by hands
that comfort me,
And pray for me,
And open my body
To excise the malignancy.

Eyes have held my eyes
Touching my soul,
And words have carried me
To the next Challenge.

LIGHT AGAINST DARK  - by Sue Prins

Light against dark.... Dark against light.

It's what my eyes see
As I take a step toward darkness;
The sky reflected in a puddle,
March robins, huddled in a treet
An unexpected smile from a stranger.

Light against dark.... Dark against light.

It's what my ears hear
As I move toward silence;
Geese calling overhead,
The rattle of branches as the wind teases through them,
The laughter of my grandchildren.

Light against dark...Dark against light.

It's what my heart feels
as it contemplates stopping;
The love of my life's companion,
The faint coolness of that snowflake on my tongue,
The sweet breath drawn.

Light against dark
Life stands out in sharp contrast
Dark against light......
----------------------------------------
September 27,2011
I got back yesterday from a silent retreat where I wrote this...

I am not broken,
Hardly bruised  even,
By events of the year
Gone by.

It seems a dream,
A stream of fragmented memories
Playing randomly
When I call for them.

I almost can't hold my own interest
In that scarred past.
Turn that page over...


We thank Sue for permission to print her very moving poetry.
I spoke to Sue today - and she is doing great!
She is enjoying her new life," after treatment ends and the rest of your new life begins!"
   

To My Dearest Friend I Never Met!

In Memory of : Bev Saarinen
5/8/1943 - 11/15/2008
by Marion Jonker

Could anyone have told us..
that across the world somewhere

Two friends were there awaiting
for a plane to make us care..

I was here in California
we were miles and miles apart.

My cockatoo from Australia had long ago
stolen my heart.

Our e-mails were our only link.
a phone call now and again....

But God knew what he was doing...
when he linked our souls and then...

God united these two "boob sisters"
who understood each others pain...

He knew we needed each other...
on each end of his vast domain.

Our love of dogs, and nature,
our never ending love....

Of those whose lives we made better
with God's guidance from above.

Now you have left me my sister....
The friendship that we have built....

resembles to a great extent....
the stitches on a quilt.

So go and select the fabric for your wings...
out of the best stuff they must be built....

and I'll meet you when I get there....
Just find a large enough place so we can quilt.

©  All Rights Reserved 2008

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To My Dear Ones
by Libby Whaley

You know who you are.
You are the ones
who hold me close
in your hearts,
whose tender hugs
transcend my fears
into the loving light
that builds my strength.

You are the ones
who help me find peace
in my war against a disease
that hides sheepishly
in my bones.

You are the ones
with whom I dance
and share the music and laughter
that fills my soul with joy.

Your acts ! of love and kindness
lift my spirit to climb great heights,
mountains steep and fierce, yet tackled
with the unyielding support of camaraderie
infused with hope and passion.

When in the night I cannot sleep,
I invite you in.
Thoughts of you and memories I cherish
bring me comfort
and fill the darkest recesses
of my mind.

And as the mystery of this life unfolds
I journey forth with a lightness in my step,
and a smile upon my face,
as I am certain
I will never walk alone.

And so it is,
with gratitude and a humble heart
I say thank you,
my dear ones,
for being by my side.

Libby Whaley

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What Cancer Cannot Do...

Author unknown

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Attitude...

  A T T I T U D E

 

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' 

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.   
'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' 

So she did and she had a wonderful day.  

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. 
'YAY!' she exclaimed. 

'I don't have to fix my hair today!' 

 Attitude is everything!

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,  Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...    
  It's about learning to dance in the rain.
---
Author Unknown

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My Will...

“My will shall shape my future. 
Whether I fail or succeed
shall be no man’s doing but my own.
 
I am the force;
I can clear any obstacle before me
or I can be lost in the maze.
 
My choice; my responsibility;
win or lose,
only I hold the key to my destiny.”
 

... Elaine Maxwell ...

 
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A Friend Is Someone...

A friend is someone who knows
The song in your heart
And can sing it back to you
When You have forgotten the words

Anonymous

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Follow the Three R's...

Respect for Self

Respect for Others

Responsibility for All Your Actions!

Author Unknown

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Afraid To Try...

If you think you are beat
you are.

If you think you dare not
you don't.

If you'd like to win
but think you can't

It's almost a cinch that
you won't.

Author Unknown

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Faith...

"When you get to the end of all the light you know,
and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen:
either you will be given something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly."

--Edward Teller

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Youth and Vitality

“Youth and Vitality”

Next month, I say goodbye to the twins,
I first met the girls at age 12,
At the time, they were in training,
They were a pair.
The girls and I had so much fun together,
We went through so many milestones together,
During the most important times of my life,
My girls were there.
A spray of cologne,
They did not come out that often,
When they were there,
You couldn’t help but notice.
My girls and I had future plans,
Together we would satisfy a nation,
A nation that thirsted for youth and vitality,
My girls delivered.
We had so much fun together,
Throughout all this time,
There was never jealousy,
All for one and one for all.

We were a pair!
Until…
Until one day I looked deep into the mirror,
Twin one was looking down on the floor,
Twin two just kept looking around the room,….
Paranoia was in her eye.
Twin two said,
“You should get rid of Twin one,
Twin one is the problem,
I have done nothing less than bring you great joy.”
Twin one woke up,
“What is she trying to say about me,
She whispered….
You know she’s got problems too.”
What is wrong with this picture,
So I took a picture that went deeper than deep,
The kind of depth which swings like a magnet from pole to pole,
MRI!
So… next month I say goodbye to the twins,
You see they were a pair,
All for one, and one for all,
Youth and vitality will again be restored.


by Lillie Lindsay - Virginia Beach Virginia



 We sincerely hope you will submit your poetry,
so that we might include it on this page
Contact Us

Links to Wonderful Poems...

Coping
by Juliette Jeddry
A poem by a handicapped breast cancer survivor.

Atlantic Breast Cancer Net
http://www.abcn.ca/artman2/publish/Poems_55/Coping.html

Fighting My Way Through Breast Cancer With Poetry
by Diana Ballinger
Find her book at
Amazon.com


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